02 Apr I reject the tyranny of precision

Source: Fujifilm Insider

I’ve been on a strange ride for awhile now. My mind feels fragmented most of the time, jumping somewhat erratically between ideas and words and notes and chords—all in bits and pieces; as if I’m lost in a swirling, perpetual abstraction. Layers shifting.

When I was in Germany last fall , someone from Fujifilm Japan told me he’d felt a change in my photography…it wasn’t necessarily a negative comment on his part but it threw me off a bit. The inner voice immediately kicked in, whispering that I was losing my way, that I’d been stripped of whatever magic I’d perhaps mistakenly been granted in the first place. I thought of spirits leaving Morrison at the end of that Oliver Stone movie; you know, right before The End starts playing. In fact, the words had resonated because I knew it already: the fragmentation had been extending to my visual world as well.

I’ve often written of the anxiety I feel about repeating myself, covering the same ground over and over again—so change, in whatever form, should be welcome, right? Yeah, it should. But at the risk of sounding incredibly vain, here’s a sad truth: once your work receives a certain amount of “recognition” (big quotation marks here), a brand new fear arises—the fear of breaking the spell, of evolving into a less compelling version of yourself, destroying whatever it was others found interesting. And we can scream at the top of our lungs that we don’t care, that we’re rebels and will do our own thang regardless of opinions…it’s all bullshit. We’re human and we do care. And when our job and livelihood depend on this “recognition”, on that certain “look” or ethos we’ve developed over time, whatever it may be…then the pressure to stay put becomes that much more intense. Don’t rock the boat.

So we build our cage, step inside and close the door.
Sometimes we lose the key…..

I reject the tyranny of precision posted on Fujifilm Insider on .

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